I’ve been harming hundreds, maybe thousands of cars during the last 30 years in Europe (for example in Germany, France, Spain and Italy). I’ve been scratching the painted surface of cars with keys, kicking the doors, removing mirrors and antennas, sprayed them, put every possible object into the exhaustion hole, put water in the keyhole in winter, removed the cable from the heating block in cold winters, broke windows with stones, thrown dog poo on cars. I have tons of other nice ways of doing harm as well. Only about ten times have I caused harm that big that police would have started to inspect it. I’ve done this on purpose – I surely don’t want to get caught! I’ve never ever been even close to get caught because whenever there’s a risk of praying eyes or cameras, I don’t do anything. Who would have thought all this about clean, well-dressed and middle aged guy walking around with a briefcase? I usually never target the same car again just to be sure I don’t get caught, although sometimes I have been forced to return to a car of my asshole neighbors. The best part comes here: I’ve only done all this to one brand: BMW. These cars are only used by dicks and I would be ready to blow all their factories and the car owners away! I hate all cars, but BMW’s should be made illegal, as well as the fat, bold and ugly owners of BMW’s. And to all of those who think that you can do something about it when you catch me, I’d really like to see that. The Mickey Mouse sized BMW drivers look like rabbit shoots when they climb out of their cars and they have no balls to do anything to a big guy like me. The only thing that could happen would be small fine and a small compensation – a few hundred euros max. Anyway, I’ve caused a harm of tens if not thousands of euros and I’m going to continue this until there are no BMW’s on the roads. After that I’ll probably just change the brand. The biggest satisfaction comes whenever I can do some little harm that makes the expensive car to stand still for many weeks without driving.
January 11, 2010 Monday at 1:33 pm