the law of the playground

"the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet"

[to content]

Arrows Masterclass

Lesson 1: arrow basics

Fig 1a

Fig 1b

Consider Fig 1a, where the entirety of James is rendered gay by the second arrow. This compensates for the poor depiction of lipstick, which could be mistaken for a racist fat lips slur, and not relevant to gayness at all.

Now consider Fig 1b, where the "gay" is directed towards the lips, making the lipstick element of the drawing more explicit, yet leaving whole swathes of James unlabelled gay.

There is no right and wrong in this case; it is simply a matter of style and emphasis.

You have learned: Parallel Arrows, Nested Arrows

Lesson 2: embellishment

Fig 2a

Fig 2b

In this case, two classic tricks are pulled out of the bag. In Fig 2a, we are presented with the simple scenario that Simon eats poo from a wooden spoon. A fine insult, and one that should not be underestimated. However, note the added immediacy in Fig 2b, where Simon is vigourously demanding his ration of poo, and the addition of the "Dinner At Simon's" title conveniently implicates his family, implying that Simon eats poo on a daily basis because he can't even afford Blue Riband biscuits.

You have learned: The Speech Method, The Title Method.

Lesson 3: beyond arrows

Fig 3a

Fig 3b

In Fig 3a, arrows simply aren't enough. The admirable scenario of Elaine snotting acid into the eyes of a passer-by is lacking in several ways.

• The line of snot does not reach the victim's eye
• The victim actually seems quite cheerful; some explanation is required - is it a grimace of pain, or is it Elaine's best friend, Lindsey, who likes to drink Elaine's snot when they are playing tea-cups?
• Elaine's friend or victim is hopelessly out of scale, beyond even a humourous implication that Elaine is huge.

See how these issues are remedied in Fig 3b with "Ow my eye", which encourages the reader to suspend their disbelief, "it's acid", which replaces the simple arrow, and "and I am far away", which accounts perfectly for the issues of proportion and scale. Of course, you will already have noticed that "Hello I am Elaine" is a charming replacement for the arrow in the first case.

Remember - a seperate speech bubble is required for each issue.

You have learned: The Multiple Speech Method, Error Correction

top | about the site | contact

the law of the playground is brought to you by disappointment.com