the law of the playground
"the least coherent encyclopaedia of playground insults on the internet"
| The Law of the Playground | |
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Don't be an eggy doyler. |
About the Law of the Playground
Where it came from
The Law of the Playground was inspired in 1983 by an educationally fucked child called Adam Mason, who ran around the playground claiming to be "Cha-Man". He used to say "chaaaaa", all playtime, every playtime. This boy has remained at the forefront of one classmate's mind ever since. In 1999, a totem to this monument of cheerful spackery was built. And then, it grew.
What it is now
It's a place where you can share the terrible, amusing or haunting tales of your childhood - knowing that those who read it will either be laughing at you or shuddering with a prickly recognition.
Who's in charge
Standards
Our standards are ill-defined and random. To try and give you an idea of the criteria we use would be misleading, as we have none. Simply tell your story. Sing your song. Fly like a bird. Sting like a bee.
All we ask is that your entry is somehow funny. If it's an anecdote, does it have a spark of ingenuity, oddness, or darkness? Or is it you going up to a poor kid and telling them that their mum is made from toilet roll?
Actually, we'd probably let that one in.
Technicalities
Content on the site should be accessible to all, but will reach the dizzying heights of our patented LookNice™ standard if you are using a browser that supports W3C standards. What that means, however, is any fucker's guess.
To submit an entry, you'll need cookies enabled. It makes our life easier so we're not going to apologize for it. We don't use cookies to locate your whereabouts via a nefarious and complicated GPS tracking scheme - if we could do things that dastardly we certainly wouldn't be bloody well wasting our time applying it to this load of crap.
The pictures that gracefully adorn the front page are sourced from Tom Murphy's divide by zero. Thanks, Tom!
Legalities
The Law of the Playground accepts no responsibility for any anguish or repressed memories that come to light in the wake of reading these pages. It's your pain - deal with it.
If you find something you feel to be offensive, please consider very carefully whether we're likely to care.
Submissions
By submitting a story to The Law of the Playground, you agree that everything you write becomes ours the second you click that submission button. We can edit it to make you come across as ineloquent and stupid. We can write down your entry and hold it above your head while you jump up and down and start crying. We can project it onto the side of a Leeds tower block. We can go onto Graham Norton and claim to have had your experience in the opening preamble with the crowd. Basically, it's ours.
In fact, you can't even tell the story in the pub anymore. That's how ours it is.
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