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Browsing stories entered for 'whoever smelt it dealt it'

whoever smelt it dealt it

Well worn fart-blame transferral method, first documented in print in an episode of Johnny Fartpants around 1990.

The established order is;
"Whoever smelt it dealt it"
"Whoever denied it supplied it"
"Whoever made the rhyme committed the crime."

Despite some of the best minds in the world working day and night on the matter, no further possibilities have been found. These failures show the difficulties facing innovators; "Whoever tried to tell made the smell" (inelegant) "Whoever passed the buck gassed the truck" (only effective on trucks) "Whoever went to the trouble to needlessly place the blame, probably is responsible for the fart that started the game" (a little long)
(posted by Mazza, Log Nonymous on 24 Nov 2002; approved 10 Dec 2002 by Log)
During a particularly inspired bout of smelt it dealt it with my sister, I was overjoyed to come up with 'The one who told the story did the glory'. Despite my best efforts it never moved into common parlance, and with hindsight I see why.
(posted by Will Jenkins on 20 Dec 2002; approved 31 Jan 2003 by Log)
Only known exit from this conundrum is to state "I can't smell anything". You can say this even if you have been arguing for some minutes about who farted, by which time it will have dissipated anyway, and the class can return to DefCon Two.
(posted by Dr Ringpiece on 1 Apr 2003; approved 13 May 2003 by Log)
We always said "whoever rhymed it, crimed it".

Criming something was considered a perfectly legitimate term. A variant would be to run up to someone, shout "Criminal Activity!" and steal someone's bag of crisps, or something.
(posted by griff . on 16 Apr 2003; approved 13 May 2003 by Log)

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