the law of the playground

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Browsing stories entered for 'fainting, fake'

fainting, fake

Fainting was a brief but common practice amongst 7 year olds in 1979. The would-be fainter and his assistant would stand by the playground wall. The fainter would breathe deeply in and out as fast as he could, whipping up a nice dizzy spell of hyperventilation. After 20 deep breaths, he forces out his final emormous gob of air, and just as he does so the assistant lunged and pressed his chest against the wall as hard as he could. God knows how it works, but the fainter will immediately conk out and collapse, usually falling slightly unconscious and no doubt nearly dying in the process. I've no doubt Michael Hutchence did something similar on his final night alive, only he got his cock out first.
(posted by Olly Lambert on 24 Nov 2002; approved 3 Dec 2002 by Log)
Inducing a fake faint was also known as 'Harvey Walbangers'. Everyone who's done one will generally insist that they nearly died that time, really.
(posted by Emma-Leigh Owen on 5 Aug 2003; approved 29 Sep 2003 by Log)
One of the side effects of this singularly stupid activity was that you would often hallucinate as you came "back to life". Juzza, aka The Terminator, admitted that he had hallucinated about playing computer games.

The best hallucination I could manage was a sort of swirling lino-cut impression of the local church, which, while quite psychadelic, was definitely very uncool.

One boy refused to take part, as he felt that abusing yourself to amuse others amounted to prostitution.
(posted by Bomber . on 28 Nov 2003; approved 12 Dec 2003 by Log)
When the 'fainter' hit the deck, it was considered fair play that they received a good kicking while they were down.

Well you had to be sure they were OK.
(posted by bobby dazzler on 6 May 2005; approved 9 May 2005 by Ponky)

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