1991, and Matty was staying over at Taylor's house. Taylor's mum and dad had gone out and when they returned, Taylor's parents sent the two fourteen year olds off to bed in a perfectly normal fashion. The following day, when viewed through the inexplicable filter of rumour madness, this gradually:

Became: Taylor's mum and dad came back pissed up and sent the lads packing.
Became: Taylor's dad was drunkenly groping Taylor's mum whilst slurring 'It's OK, love, the lads are going upstairs now'.
Became: Taylor's mum and dad went into the kitchen to have it off, regardless of who was where in the house.
Became: They were so pissed up and randy, they had sex IN THE OVEN while Taylor cried.

Needless to say Matty, who was recounting the story, remained cool and aloof throughout the sordid carry-on.